About Me

  • About Me: I would like to live in a bakery when I grow up, and bake bread all day long. Of course, such a career path would inevitably ensue chaos and violent attacks of food poisoning on those who eat bread, as I cannot cook for beans. (This phrase can be applied quite literally, as I really cannot cook beans.) And after the world has been tainted with my lovingly kneaded, but fatal slices of sourdough, I can retire in peace. It is in such a state where I can eat like a malnourished porker and balloon to the size of a holiday blimp. The latter will then carry my fat, but happy, corpse away (hefty with importance and crumpets) after I die from pure excess of comfort and buttered croissants. The End.

Travel

  • Places I love: this chair.
  • Places I've been: this chair.
  • Places to see before I die: the sky.
  • Dream Vacation: Under the seaaaaa

Style

  • I like to wear: clothes. It is not good to go around butt-naked in this country, unless you are from Hawaii-- then it is okay (it is also okay to stick coconuts over your boobs and tie pom poms over your arse.)
  • Can't live without: underwear. (yes Britney, I am giving you a withering glare as I type this)

Movies

  • Movie Quotes I say all the time: "Hello." ....Amongst others. Life imitates art, ja?
  • Actor that would play me in a movie: Meat Loaf. Or the fat guy from Jurassic Park. Either one will do.

Television

  • Favorite Shows: IRON CHEF. HOHOHO...
  • Favorite Channels: the Weather Channel. And the Food Network, because Mario Batali is gosh-darn adorable.
  • Favorite Reruns: IRON CHEF. HOHOHO... And also Boy Meets World-- it took him long enough (an entire decade, to be exact), but boy met world, and now boy is starring in B-list movies named after local cities.
  • Most Addictive Show: IRON CHEF (cue foolish laugh)
  • Favorite Episode: the sushi battle
  • Characters you relate to: Tom, from Tom and Jerry. Poor Tom.
  • Favorite Theme Song: the Dawson's Creek theme song, for its admirable, uncanny ability to cause any male specimen within listening distance to howl in immense agony, gripping at their bleeding, cracking ears with desperate hands.
  • Show I wished wasn't cancelled: Lizzie McGuire (then perhaps, somebody can feed the incredible shrinking Hilary a sandwich. But other than that, this is quite a nice show, you know. So cute, like Hush Puppies and Hannibal the Cannibal, or Chewbacca, when he makes his constipated donkey noises.)

Food

  • Favorite Restaurants: Safeway
  • Foods I hate: Duck Liver. Cow Liver. Chicken Liver. Anything with the word liver in it, actually, as well as anything having to do with intestines, chassis fluids, animal butts (or any butt in general, really), brain yolk, eyeballs, eyelids, eyebrows (anything within 5 inches of the eye area, we will leave it at that), nostrils, tongues, teeth, the dangly pendalum throat-thingy, spleens, tails, toenails, feet, hooves, and pretty much anything else that has the potential of leaking blood.

Books

  • Favorite Authors: jonathan safran foer: franz kafka and his english translator:
  • Recent Reads: divine secrets of the yaya sisterhood. The Dictionary of American Slang (the UrbanDictionary.com of 1982.)

Music

  • Favorite Genre: pansyfolk
  • Favorite Songs: Anything with the words "ugly baby" in it.
  • Favorite Lyrics: somethingsomething goes here and "...AND WHEN I THINK OF YOU LINDA, I HOPE YOU FUCKING CHOKE" hehe. That Adam Sandler is such a kidder. How wonderfully delightful it is to have my name in such a lovely song?
  • Songs for Roadtrips: Wheels on the bus go round and round...? (shuddup. I don't go on many road trips, you know.)
  • Songs I hate: the "ugly baby" song. Oh my tender ears! Such monstrosity!
  • Guilty Pleasure: the "ugly baby" song. Oh my tender ears! Such monstrosity! Such scrupuously clever monstrosity!
  • Band I wish I was in: the "ugly baby" song band. I had such a good idea for a sequel ("ugly baby song #2: Ugly Toddler Redux, Why the Other Children in the Sandbox Point and Try to Murder Me with Buckets")

Video Games

  • Games I Play: Tetris, in hopes of building a wonderfully hole-y wall out of freakishly mishapen bricks.
  • Favorite Characters: I idolize Pac-Man, for his uniquely peculiar metabolism.
  • Gaming Alias: Alias, eh?
  • Servers I Play On: Servers, eh?
  • Favorite Classic Arcade Games: DUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH PAC MAN
  • Most Addictive: Addictive, eh?
  • Proudest Achievements: Reaching the gargantuan pie-hole of the Great Deku Tree in OoT. Of course, this was quickly followed with a terrified, "HO-HUM, How frightening is this satanic-looking vine/intestine thingy protruding through the depths of his holy mouth? Perhaps I will stop playing now..." The game is paused and remains in such a frozen state for the next two weeks.
  • Clans: Clan, eh?

Contact Info

  • AIM: linda sobs

Books

  • Favorite Authors: jonathan safran foer: franz kafka and his english translator:
  • Recent Reads: divine secrets of the yaya sisterhood. The Dictionary of American Slang (the UrbanDictionary.com of 1982.)